Lol.

Half it is.

Typical chandler :)

Funny

#PJ Patra

Oh wow! :-P

Time for September has come!

#1

Master: Now that you have earned enough money working under me i suggest you to start your own business

Suppandi: Yes Master!I have been thinking of it lately.

Master: Oh!Is it?! What kind of business did u plan?

Suppandi:I am planning to start a saloon in PUNJAB!!!!!

#2

Suppandi’s master was a small time business man. He had told Suppandi to always try to earn a profit.

Master: Suppandi, I am expecting a washing machine from London Stores. Go and give this Rs.50 note to the shopkeeper and get the machine.

On the way back from the store, a man met Suppandi.

Man: How much did you buy that machine for?

Suppandi: Rs.50

Man: I will give you Rs.90 for it.

Suppandi thought that he was making a profit and sold it and reached home.

Master: Where is the machine?

Suppandi: I sold it off on the way for Rs.90, a clear profit of Rs.40.

Master: You fool, that machine was worth Rs.9000. I was paying for it in installments.

Master: Your Fired!!!

#3

Suppandi’s master was going out.

Master: Suppandi , keep an eye on the dog.

Suppandi: Yes master, but..

Master: But What?

Suppandi: What do I do with the other eye??

August series

#1 

History Teacher: What is importance of the year 1869? 

Suppandi: Mahatma Gandhi, the father of our nation was born in that year. 

Teacher: Excellent, but tell me what is the importance of the year 1872? 

Suppandi: In that year Mahatma Gandhi turned 3 years old.

#2

Suppandi had gone to the doctor with his problem of overweight.

Doctor: You will lose weight, if you follow this diet strictly.

Suppandi (Reading the Prescription): One cup of tea without any milk or sugar in the morning.

One dry chapati, one cup curd and a carrot in the afternoon and in the evening....

Suppandi: Do I take this diet before or after meals?

#3

Suppandi: Master did u see the news? It's raining in Mumbai.

Master: So? 

Suppandi: Our TV will get wet so i covered it with raincoat!!

#4

One day at lunch-

Master: Suppandi, why have you cooked only one dish, you must always do a little extra than what I tell you to do, more never hurts. That evening-

Master: Suppandi, get me a cup of tea. A little later-

Master: What is this? Why have you got me 4 cups of tea?

Suppandi: You only said, a little extra never hurts.

#5

Suppandi in IT field-

Master: My wife wants to remove wrinkles, pimples, face marks and the signs of skin ageing. What should she do?

Suppandi: Simple...Try Adobe Photoshop. It really works!!!

Suppandi <3

Starting with my favourite Suppandi's jokes..you are awesome :D

#1 

Suppandi: Dad we are going to get really rich tomorrow.

Dad: How come?

Suppandi: Because my maths teacher is going to teach how to convert cents to dollars tomorrow.

#2

Suppandi's friend: Why can't we see sun in the night?

Suppandi: Come on. How can you see it when it's so dark.

#3

#4

Master: Suppandi, How much time does it take for you to post a letter? And look, you haven't even posted the letter the 1 hour you have been out. 
Suppandi: I searched the whole town master. But all the post boxes were locked. 

#5

#6

Suppandi was dialing the phone to his friend. 
Master: Suppandi don't talk on the phone for more than 3 minutes.

After about ten minutes.

Master: Suppandi, I told you not to talk on the phone for so long. 
Suppandi: I didn't master. I talked only for three minutes, the rest of the time I have been listening.

#7

One day Suppandi was shouting at a couple of children telling them not to make a noise. His master told him that shouting was a bad habit and one should not shout.
Then one morning-
Master: We have been robbed of everything Suppandi!
Suppandi: I know, I saw the thief last night. 
Master: But then why didn't you shout for help?
Suppandi: You only told me that shouting was a bad habit.

#8
Master: Suppandi go and get one tomato. Remember to get it from the place you get it the cheapest.
That night-
Master: Suppandi I had only told you get one tomato, what took you so long?

Suppandi: I had caught a train and had gone to a village 100 miles from here which grows tomatoes. There they were the cheapest.

#9

Master: Suppandi, why are you holding the receiver of the phone to your ear? Did it ring? 
Suppandi: No, I am expecting an urgent call from my brother.

#10

#11

One day Suppandi was playing football with his master's son. He had been posted as goalkeeper. Then the opposition charged towards his goal and kicked the ball into the goal from right beside his legs. The masters son was boiling with anger. 

Son: Why didn't you stop the ball Suppandi?

Suppandi: Why in the world should I stop it? What is the net in the goal for?

#12

#13

Master: Suppandi, I cannot find one of these socks, where have you dumped it?
Suppandi: Here it is master.
Master: If you don't keep things in the proper place, they are bound to get lost.
That evening when the master's son came home from school-

Master: How come your Geography teacher has written a note that you are not studying properly? What did you do?
Son: My teacher asked me where Washington was located, and I didn't know where it was. 
Suppandi: You would have been able to find it, had you kept it in the right place!

#14

Suppandi was once interviewed for a job as a prison guard.
Inspector: Hmmmmmmm..... Now these are really tough chaps in here, do you think you can manage?

Suppandi: No problem, If they don't behave, out they go.

#15

Suppandi: What are you doing master? 
Master: I am writing a novel.

Suppandi: Why are you doing that when you can simply buy it from the market?

#16

Mistress: Suppandi, go and hang these clothes outside to dry.
Suppandi: Why?
Mistress: Because the heat of the sun will dry the clothes.
A little later-
Mistress: Suppandi, why are you standing in the hot sun?
Suppandi: I was trying to dry my sweat.

#17

#18

Master: Suppandi, why have you put the spoilt mangoes in the sink. Put them in the dustbin. That's where all spoiled thing's go.
Suppandi: Yes Master.
Master: After throwing them in the dustbin go and get my son, Vijay from school.
After some time there were noises and screams for help coming from the kitchen.The Master rushed in.

Master: Suppandi, what do you think you are doing with my son by putting him into the dustbin?
Suppandi: Master, when I had gone to get him, his teacher told me that he was a spoiled brat. You only told me that all spoilt things go in the dustbin.

#19

Master: Suppandi, one of my shoes is torn, I'll get another one from the market.
Suppandi: But you still have the other shoe master.

Master: Don't be funny Suppandi, what good is one shoe without the other.
Then one day-
Master: Suppandi, here take these two Rs.500 notes and go get 10 tube lights.
Suppandi: Okay.
Master: Suppandi you are back so soon, where are the tube lights?
Suppandi: When I was going, one of the notes slipped from my hand and fell into the sewer, what good is the other note without the pair? So I threw that also into the sewer.

#20

WoMen ;)

Coming soon. Stay tuned.