Suppandi <3

Starting with my favourite Suppandi's jokes..you are awesome :D

#1 

Suppandi: Dad we are going to get really rich tomorrow.

Dad: How come?

Suppandi: Because my maths teacher is going to teach how to convert cents to dollars tomorrow.

#2

Suppandi's friend: Why can't we see sun in the night?

Suppandi: Come on. How can you see it when it's so dark.

#3

#4

Master: Suppandi, How much time does it take for you to post a letter? And look, you haven't even posted the letter the 1 hour you have been out. 
Suppandi: I searched the whole town master. But all the post boxes were locked. 

#5

#6

Suppandi was dialing the phone to his friend. 
Master: Suppandi don't talk on the phone for more than 3 minutes.

After about ten minutes.

Master: Suppandi, I told you not to talk on the phone for so long. 
Suppandi: I didn't master. I talked only for three minutes, the rest of the time I have been listening.

#7

One day Suppandi was shouting at a couple of children telling them not to make a noise. His master told him that shouting was a bad habit and one should not shout.
Then one morning-
Master: We have been robbed of everything Suppandi!
Suppandi: I know, I saw the thief last night. 
Master: But then why didn't you shout for help?
Suppandi: You only told me that shouting was a bad habit.

#8
Master: Suppandi go and get one tomato. Remember to get it from the place you get it the cheapest.
That night-
Master: Suppandi I had only told you get one tomato, what took you so long?

Suppandi: I had caught a train and had gone to a village 100 miles from here which grows tomatoes. There they were the cheapest.

#9

Master: Suppandi, why are you holding the receiver of the phone to your ear? Did it ring? 
Suppandi: No, I am expecting an urgent call from my brother.

#10

#11

One day Suppandi was playing football with his master's son. He had been posted as goalkeeper. Then the opposition charged towards his goal and kicked the ball into the goal from right beside his legs. The masters son was boiling with anger. 

Son: Why didn't you stop the ball Suppandi?

Suppandi: Why in the world should I stop it? What is the net in the goal for?

#12

#13

Master: Suppandi, I cannot find one of these socks, where have you dumped it?
Suppandi: Here it is master.
Master: If you don't keep things in the proper place, they are bound to get lost.
That evening when the master's son came home from school-

Master: How come your Geography teacher has written a note that you are not studying properly? What did you do?
Son: My teacher asked me where Washington was located, and I didn't know where it was. 
Suppandi: You would have been able to find it, had you kept it in the right place!

#14

Suppandi was once interviewed for a job as a prison guard.
Inspector: Hmmmmmmm..... Now these are really tough chaps in here, do you think you can manage?

Suppandi: No problem, If they don't behave, out they go.

#15

Suppandi: What are you doing master? 
Master: I am writing a novel.

Suppandi: Why are you doing that when you can simply buy it from the market?

#16

Mistress: Suppandi, go and hang these clothes outside to dry.
Suppandi: Why?
Mistress: Because the heat of the sun will dry the clothes.
A little later-
Mistress: Suppandi, why are you standing in the hot sun?
Suppandi: I was trying to dry my sweat.

#17

#18

Master: Suppandi, why have you put the spoilt mangoes in the sink. Put them in the dustbin. That's where all spoiled thing's go.
Suppandi: Yes Master.
Master: After throwing them in the dustbin go and get my son, Vijay from school.
After some time there were noises and screams for help coming from the kitchen.The Master rushed in.

Master: Suppandi, what do you think you are doing with my son by putting him into the dustbin?
Suppandi: Master, when I had gone to get him, his teacher told me that he was a spoiled brat. You only told me that all spoilt things go in the dustbin.

#19

Master: Suppandi, one of my shoes is torn, I'll get another one from the market.
Suppandi: But you still have the other shoe master.

Master: Don't be funny Suppandi, what good is one shoe without the other.
Then one day-
Master: Suppandi, here take these two Rs.500 notes and go get 10 tube lights.
Suppandi: Okay.
Master: Suppandi you are back so soon, where are the tube lights?
Suppandi: When I was going, one of the notes slipped from my hand and fell into the sewer, what good is the other note without the pair? So I threw that also into the sewer.

#20